Entry 0082

I feel exhausted. I'm not sleepy, but just physically spent. My forehead muscles are tense and I have bags under my eyes. It helps to relax my face and close my eyes. I suspect this is from shoveling Saturday and Sunday. I'll have to shovel tomorrow too. Our house and the houses of our three elderly neighbors. I don't mind having to do this, as this weather provides a good opportunity to get a full-body workout without sweating profusely. The bonus is that it accomplishes something for other people, so I don't feel as useless as if I just walked on my treadmill or something. I'd prefer that my exercise benefit other people too. I find I'm more motivated to do it then. The utilitarian efficiency also appeals to my intellectual sensibilities.

The one thing that worries me is that one of my elderly neighbors is kind of stubborn, so if the snow isn't shoveled in a timely manner, she'll go out and do it herself, despite my mom assuring her that I'll do it. It's annoying because she's 92 or 93 years old and shouldn't be out there snow blowing. It's hard for me to adjust and coordinate my routine with other peoples' needs with no advance warning. And then if she goes out there, it forces me to go out and play that social game where it's like "I got it, you can go back inside, Marylin" and she'll be like "Oh I can do it quickly with the snow blower, don't worry about it", and I'm like "No, really, I got it, I'm out here with my shovel, ready to do it." And to play this game while simulatenously trying to regulate my voice tone and manner to be polite and patient.