Entry 0071

My anxiety and executive functioning is just crap today. It's taking me forever to do things that on a good day I can do fairly quickly. I had to take a full clonazepam because visceral anxiety was unbearable. I took it a few hours ago, and the visceral anxiety has only slightly subsided.

I have tasks that I've been working on since early this morning, and they are currently in an unfinished state. It makes me feel disorganized and chaotic. I'd like to finish them by the end of the day, executive function permitting. I attempt to sort them out somewhat by adding them to my todo app, but when I go to create them my mind just goes blank, and I sit here with my eyes closed, weakly trying to muster the words in a succinct todo format. My mind wanders. I go have a cigarette. My mind goes blank. I have another cigarette.

I'm tired of this. My gears need to be oiled somehow. I'm out of oil.