Entry 0027

I went to visit my grandpa today, as I do every Wednesday. On my way out and during the ride home, I experienced a wave of paranoia and rumination. I started feeling it when I got weird vibes from the front desk attendent at the building where my grandpa lives. I nodded and said goodbye to them like I usually do, and I got weird vibes from their reaction. They said goodbye but there was something about it that felt wrong. As I walked out of the building to go to my car, I started thinking the front desk attendent was calling someone (Them, etc.) to notify them that I'm leaving, so that they can follow me.

On the ride back home, cars in my rear view mirror looked suspicious to me. I feel like they follow me in order to keep an eye on me in case I decide to do something bad, like attack people. I'm home now and I feel safe, but the paranoia lingers in the background. I know it's just paranoia because I can introspect and identify that it has the shape of paranoia, but I can't stop myself from feeling it. I think after some amount of time my thought process will go back to normal. I also haven't eaten a solid meal since yesterday evening, so maybe when I get some adequate nutrition in my body it will help bring my brain to homeostasis.